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Thursday, September 30, 2010

my ex-love story....011010....

what a nice binary number....i juz luv the numbers...if people asked me...what is the first thing that i think of when i wake up early in the morning...my answer will b the date...the date reminds me of the event..the people who i had loved before...the people that i'm still loving till this moment...and everything that surrounds me...there are too many things that lie behind the date...which i wont forget unless in it necessary to be forgettable...


5 years ago...this date was really a big day for me...i had create my first love story...between me n my ex....this post doesn't meant to hurt my current bf...just to share with everyone...the happy moment of love....i met this one guy since i'm in form 3...we took about 3 years to know each other...he's good...he's nice...i wont couple with someone sucks...but everything's written by god...he's not my destiny...we just cant move on together...few problems occur which was created by me...i'm the bad girl...and he is just fine with everything....but well...god bless me and n him...we broke up....i found a guy...which suits me better....i bury our love story...and here i am....writing this blog with loves up in the air...while him???he is still alive...with a better life....and i just wish that he will be a betterman for a bettergirl...he's my first love...but not my last...so many sad n happy moment between us...n today reminds me of him....the day he proposed to me to be his couple over the phone...gosh...is it a puppy love???huhuhuh...dunno...but that moment really sweet...i'm dying in love with him....i'm still dying right now...loving someone else....we cant erase our memories of someone else...what we can do is just let the memories fly with the day passing....and go on with the life that we are going through....

to my dearest current bf....i'm counting the days....to change my status...to b ur fiance...let by gone be by gone...i just cant luv anyone else...if he's the 'x'...u are my 'y'....bcoz y comes after x...n 'x' can be a cross which means NO....i'm not going to luv the 'x' but just u the 'y'...10 more days...we will create a new bond between us...make a stronger relationship....with full of loves...and just wanna say thanks for everything u had done...u make me smile...u make me angry...but i just cant stop from loving u...u r the bad guy...u r my angel...u r my everything...just pray that our relationship last forever till eternity...xoxo....

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Ape ade pade nombor.....

which is better? a lie that draws a smile.... or the truth that draws the tears.... i choose the truth...coz i want people to understand the tears that i had wasted for one whole night yesterday.....

what lies in numbers??the date...the amount...the quantity...every single number is important for me...even the numbers on the coins is big shit worthy to me....so when people asked me...whats there in number...i can say that...the number that i had chosen for the important event of my life is just worthy as the money that i cant bear to make it go away as it like...we planned...we can choose whatever the path of our life...and we had the right to make our life wonderful with the numbers n colors.. i can choose my own dress color for every event...n i had my own desire to get the best number for everything that i want it to be....

15k....anyone who had been in luv with me would knew how i really like this damn number...it's my price...so what...take it or leave it...it's my pride...and it's ur cost to get me...but not this price that we are arguing of...its about the damn fucking date that i had chosen since he bought me the ring...3 types of human being that i am very dislike to be born on the earth which are:
- people who like to show off with the things that is very affordable to me...as if i cant buy it...i just dont like it and dont wanna waste my money to buy it..not because i can afford it...
- people who like to underestimate other people...saying like u are the best...talking like i'm the ass and u are the asshole...looking for someone else imperfectness....gosh...go to heaven if u think u are damn good...good luck coz i dont think u are perfect enough to even smell the sweetness of that place...
-the third type of person that i wish i can make this person vanish from my sight is the one who shout out at my face while i'm very politely speaking without any high pitch of my voice....god...i feel like making that person mute at that time...dont shout at me when i'm still cool...dont make me angry when we can still explain things to each other and get a solution for a damn small matter...

101010....girls and dude who had read my post previously...some of u are still wondering what the date meant...and now i will just expose it...it is MY PLAN n MY OWN desire....not anyone else....i want the date to be the day i am engaged...it's my big day...so what...and here is the prob...i had to change the date which is just 3 weeks to go...why???coz HE said...i'm not the one who's traveling...i am just the characterless girl who waits at home to be engaged...and this really explode my anger...HELLL-OOOO....it's my day...u can respect ur family but please respect my decision too coz i really want that fucking date as what i'm concern...i had my own family who need to be respected too...this engagement is a 2 family matters...if u cant even take care of this tiny desire of my heart...how do u think u wanna fulfill the dozens of hearts after this??

actually...i'm not that really stone-hearted girl as other people think that i am to be...i can be kind...i can follow as what u want...but with a nice and polite talk...not with that kind of throwing ur tantrum over a thing which is not yet decided by me...i need my space...give me some time...it's my day n i can do whatever i want...u can speak nicely and it is not impossible for me to change the date as what u want...but please dear...u did not do as the way i want it to be...thanks for everything...

for what u may know...i had called my mom...u can discussed it with papa later coz i'm not going to change it...i want that fucking damn date coz u really had hurt my feeling..i can change it but in my own way...but since u choose the 'shout out' kind of discussion...fine with me...i will stick to that date no matter what happen....take it or leave it...and this is the end of OUR discussion...since u didnt give me any space for explanation..here i am...my blog is the only solution...u wont talk..i wont speak any single words regarding this...it ends here...

p/s: my dream guy is a guy who can speak nicely to me...who know how to make me smile while i'm crying....but that is just a dream of my dream....bukan kate nak pujuk...nak say sorry pun susah...mampu ke kite bertahan?god please answer me...am i ready for all this?~~~~

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

happy eid.....

Dari Jauh Kupohon Maaf
Dalam dingin subuh hatiku terusik
Kenang nasib diri di rantauan
Bergema takbir raya menitis air mata
Terbayang suasana permai desa

Rindu hati ini inginku kembali
Pada ayah bonda dan saudara
Tetapi aku harus mencari rezeki
Membela nasib kita bersama
Hanya ku sampaikan doa dan kiriman tulus ikhlas
Dari jauh kupohonkan ampun maaf
Jangan sedih pagi ini tak dapat kita bersama
Meraikan aidil fitri yang mulia

Restu ayah bonda kuharap selalu
Hingga aku pulang kepadamu
Restu ayah bonda kuharap selalu
Demi anakmu yang kini jauh

08-09-10....once in a lifetime...sayu rase hari ni...bukan sebab tarikh yang indah...tapi sebab terkenang orang yang tersayang...untuk tatapan mama, papa, akak2 n adik2 ku sekalian....tak lupe jugak pade si die yang tersayang...atok...nenek....sedare mare...syukur alhamdulillah...tiade yang kurang tahun ni....semua yang disayangi masih sentiase di sisi...orang yang terdekat tiade yang pergi....yang lame tiade kembali...buat arwah sepupu...Hamzah...dan orang2 yang telah tiade...smoge ditempatkan bersame orang2 yang beriman....

hari ni aku still bekerja...carik rezeki yang tak seberape...untuk tampung idup lepas raye...nanti takut lepas raye xmakan pulak...so aku kuatkan semangat...pergi keje...pagi yang redup...bertuah rasenye dapat berjumpe yang tersayang sebelum pulang berhari raye...aku drive sambil menangis dengar lagu2 raye di pagi hari...syahdu sangat...teringat dose2 pade mama..papa...adk beradik...sedare mare...si die yang tercinte...sebut pasal si die...si die dah pun selamat tibe di kampung...aku masih mengadap komputer di ofis...menulis ape yang terbuku di hati...terima kasih sayang sudi jumpe i pagi td...maaf zahir batin atas segale kesalahan yang pernah i wt...i menanti kehadiran u bersame keluarge pd raye ke-2...semoge u slmt sampai ke rumah i seperti yang dirancang....akan sntiase merindui u...

rase janggal sangat beraye tahun ni...tak pernah seumo idup aku blk lagi sehari nk raye...selalunye akula manusia yang balik paling awal untuk sambut raye..tolong mama wt kuih..sempatla shopping ape yang patut...tp taun ni...sume xseindah dulu...baju pun syukur mama da belikan...da upahkan...thanks mama...wlopun baju same ngn adk aku...hehehehe..xpela...asalkn ade bju rye..kasut rye...pkai yang sedia ade jela..handbag pn sme...xde yang baru...kewangan x mengizinkan...nasibla ade jual kuih...untung ckt2 dpt gk aku bg ank2 buah n adik2 aku wet rye nanti...mama papa??hopefully ckupla nk bg...klo hrpkan gji...dpt trus abis..byr kete..sewe uma...utang piutang...licin terus.....banyak sgt bende yang nk dipikirkan...ape2 pun...aku akn berfikiran positif dan sentiase maju kehadapan...no turning back...

jap lagi tepat kol 5.30 aku akn punch out n bergegas g uma akk aku kat ampang...tgh dalam dilema..nk lalu kesas ke federal...dahla ujan lebat...kompem gerenti jam...buke dlm ketela jwbnye...dapat nasi goreng chiang mai ni sedap gk...dr pagi td akk aku ckp nk blikn nasi goreng chiang mai kt klcc trus ngidam smpai sekarang...dok terbayang cili padi n smbl belacan yang akn ku kunyah seperti keropok nachos...nyum2...pagi td dhla xshur...nsibla mlm td smpat lpk mcD dgn yang tersyg...mkn nugget...konon bwk blk fries nk shur..hampeh..xsdr smpai pg...gelabah bgn kemas brg...riso gk ni..byk sgt brg y nk bwk blk...pnuh myvi aku sumbat brg...tatawla muat ke x kete akk aku tu...mst kne bebel...huhuuh...sory k.ina...rse mazda tu besa...so muat2kan la ek...sume brg tu pnting...kuih aunty bibah...barang hantaran tunang..termsuk bkul2 skli...jadik sardinla sume org...heheheheh...pape pn sbg tebusan..noi akn drive secare berhemat di jalan raye mlm kang...

bile tulis blog ni rase makin x sbr lak nk blk jb...nk berkumpul satu keluarge...rindu sgt...rindu sume org...taun ni still xckup ahli keluarge aku...yang sorang dh dipetik orang...beraye uma mertua...abg ipar satu lagi plk jauh di perantauan...tp taun ni ade orang baru...ank akk aku...baby muhamad...muhamad...sory yek...smlm cik noi da crk da bju melayu utk baby muhamad tp xde saiz..sume besa....sian baby muhamad xde bju melayu...xpe k..taun dpn da besa cik noi blikn...hope taun depan ade lagi orang bru untuk sambut rye bersame...ehem2...taun dpn rse cm dah dipetik orangla...heheheheh.....pape pn..rye pertame tetap di jb...syarat sebelum nikah...hehehehe...sory yek syg...adk beradik i xrmai...5 org jek...adk bradik u ade 11...sian mama papa klo i xde time rye pertame...raye ke 2 bru blk uma sayang...heheheh...konpiden jek aku nih..xpela..ade jodoh x kemane...klo tuhan da tulis jodoh aku untuk si die taun depan..dapatla raye dengan orang bru..smoge akk2 aku dapat zuriat lagi..ramai ckt ank buah...lagi meriah...semuanye takdir tuhan...kite hanye merancang...

seronok rase tengok kawan2 yang da berumahtangge...sekelip mate dr bujang jadi suami..isteri...or tunangan orang...status berubah utk raye tahun ni...semoge semua berbahagie hendaknye...ade yang da mengandung...taun dpn kompem bykla panggilan aunty yang aku akn dpt...family aku xbyk beze..orang baru pn xrmai...plan hari raye pn xbyk...cm biase...pagi raye blk uma nenek yang sekentut jek jauhnye...then lepak uma nenek satu hari smpai mlm...tp rye ke-2 tahun ni ade kehadiran yang di nanti...hope sume berjln lancar...dapat menjalin ikatan ukhwah antare keluarge..dpt mngenali sesame kite...smoge masing2 dapat menerime antare satu same lain...

raye ke-4...blk kl...rye ke-5...back to work...hmmmm...sumenye cm ade jadual siaran...tertakluk pade terma dan syarat...huhuhuh...xkshla ek...yang penting...aku nk blk rye mlm ni and selamat tibe di rumah...dpt rye dgn fmily tercinte da ckp bermkne dan bererti untk ingatan sepanjang tahun ni....nothing more to say...di kesempatan ni...nk ucapkan selamat hari raye maaf zahir batin kepade sume ahli keluarge...kekasih yang tercinte...sahabat handai...and xlupe gk pade kete ku yang tersyg...~vi~...sory syg..mama kne tgglkn vi...ari senin nnt mama amk vi k...ingt taun ni dpt rye ngn vi...xde jodohla syg...

and last but not least...buat tatapan sume...da lme xpost gambar bertudung...hehehheeh...ni gambar raye taun bile pn xingt da...2 taun lepas rasenye...klo ade slh silap mintak diampunkan..sape2 yang nk bg wet rye dialu2kan sbb saye lom kawen...heheheheh...xoxo...



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