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Wednesday, August 25, 2010

" u x rase ape i rase...u x tanggung ape i kendong..."

is there anything wrong with the sentence up there? nope...there is no problem at all...it can be said by anyone at anytime...but i wonder...how could this sentence make my tears flow like the rain...make me feel very dark in the heart as if the light of the trust for me to him had dissappear...

sometimes i'm wondering...why should we cry for someone else when we cant even cry for ourself...i'm not an always lucky girl....there's ups and down in my whole life...i had a time when i feel there's no one for me...i had a time when my purse left nothing accept the coins...i also had the time when i get a second last place in my class...i cried when i quarrel with my siblings...these are all the sad time of me for the whole 22 years...forget about all the downs and heartbroken things in relationship...i believe in one thing which is...i'm not alone...

in a relationship...luv is not a luv until u can really understand your partner's feelings...it is not a luv if u cant share the joy and tears...it is not a luv if u dont have any trust...and it is not a luv if u are not strong enough to luv yourself for the one u luv...

gosh...i'm still crying...i'm not the one who lost the money...then why should i cry?it's not my problem at all...it's not my money...it has nothing to do with me...but the tears just wont stop coz i can feel what u feel..." u x rse ape i rse..."..is it true?fine...if u really say that then i cant say anything...maybe i'm not supportive enough...i'm not useful enough to be by your side...and i'm just not a good girlfriend cause i didnt cry with u when u are crying...wanna know why? cause i dont wanna show the pain of u in me...we are together in everything...i didnt cry in front of u cause i cry for u when u cant see me...so that when i'm right in front of u...u can just see the smile without tears...to make u happy and forget the stress we both have...

i'm wondering...isnt a guy should be stronger in everything?The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be only the beginning. i want u to be strong...in every single thing..no matter what happen we will be together...but i just hate it when u say i dont get what u feel...it will be more pain to me to see u standing like a jelly bean...with the shining eyes of tears...with a wrinkles of pain on your forehead...and a smile that is really not meant to be called a smile...i'm crying too...i'm crying out loud...but u just cant hear it...cause the cry is not for u...the cry wont make u feel better...but the cry in my heart shows that i really feel what is there inside ur heart...

to my dearest...
i wrote this coz u really hurt me the moment u send the msg...i know there's nothing that i can do to help u...i cant cure ur pain...i cant get back the money for u...but i'm still here as ur girlfriend and i just want a strong guy to be my future partner for the rest of my life...to cope with anything that happens in the upcoming event of our life...hope u will be a stronger guy...u will get back to your normal life...get back to your work as usual...i know the money cost a month of your sweat...but god is trying...to giv us a better life with a lil bit of bitter moment....

'When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn. '...

xoxo...~~

2 comments:

revolutionworks said...

Kadangkala orang lelaki ni agak ego, it tends to hide their weakness from their dearest partner.

Sebagai seorang lelaki, mungkin itu adalah salah satu sebab utk ungkapan:

" u x rase ape i rase...u x tanggung ape i kendong..."

From my perspective, your bf try not to make you involve in this matter. The hidden message that he try to convey may not in nicest way, but well, everyone have weakness :)

I know you try to be supportive, but believe me, deep inside his heart, that he truly appreciate your concern, he didn't want you to cry for him, he didn't want you to sympathize him, your presence is enough to make him happy/relieve a bit.

So he did cry, but I think he cry out of disappointment, because earlier he promised you to buy you buka puasa meal at nando's and many more. He cry not because the problem, but he actually cry because he can't fulfill his promise to you.

So if you truly love you bf, have faith with him, although he didn't show it to you openly what he actually feel, sooner or later he will realize, that you are "the light" of his life.

Have faith in him, and believe me, he try as hard as he could to fix the problem. He is strong, and you are the one that give him strength to go on~

Saya mungkin bukan orang yang layak untuk memberikan nasihat, tetapi saya harap ianya dapat membantu :)

-Khaliq

ish-shy said...

thanks a lot abg khaliq..thanks for reading my blog...n thanks for ur advise...hope that everything's gonna be fine...:)